Probably the biggest question on the mind of young people
these days is “What is God’s will regarding whom I should marry?” There are
countless self-help books on the topic, and believe me I have my share of them. But let me share a few brief thoughts that I often share when asked.
First off, let God choose for you.
Inspiration tells us, “Marriage
is something that will influence and affect your life both in this world and in
the world to come… A sincere Christian will not advance his plans in this
direction without the knowledge that God approves his course. He will not want
to choose for himself, but will feel that God must choose for him.”[i]
There are several principles to consider when praying about
a future spouse. First, make haste slowly. As some have said, “Think long when
you may decide but once.” Weigh
every sentiment, watch every development of character, get to know the person
you are interested in over time and through a variety of circumstances. Dressing
up and going out on dates is not enough! You don’t really know a person’s character
till you’ve been around them through day-to-day life, stress, travels, work,
and ministry. The more you have in common, and the more easily you are able to
work side by side, the happier you will be in the long run! Remember, true love that will last is
based on qualities not just passion or attraction. Before you jump in too
quickly to a relationship, study the character. Of course, no one is completely
free of character flaws, but what is the tendency of his/her life and
lifestyle? Are they other focused or self focused? Selfishness is one of the
biggest killers in a marriage. Are they selfless to others, seeking to help
those in need, looking out for others desires above their own, or do they care
only about themselves and their own agenda? Experts say that after 5 years we don’t even know
what our spouse looks like, we only know how they act.[ii]
Inspiration gives some specific questions to think about as
you pray. Would married life be happy? Would this union help me heavenward?
Would it increase my love for God? Would it enlarge my sphere of influence and
usefulness in this life? If these questions present no drawbacks, than in the
fear of God, move forward.[iii] (For more guidance
and thought provoking questions, read the entire chapter “The Great Decision”
in the book Adventist Home. It’s very
helpful!) Above all, remember, “God gives His best to those who leave the
choice to Him. So trust Him!” Who we choose to marry is the 2nd most
important decision we make in this life, after choosing to accept Christ as our
Savior, so for those not already married, make this choice carefully and prayerfully.
No comments:
Post a Comment