Welcome to the dysfunctional love relationships of a man named Samson! I don't know if we can even call it love, to be honest...
Samson was commissioned by God from birth to be a mighty deliverer for Israel, and God's Spirit was obviously upon Him. He did not take the Nazarite vow by choice, he was born with the vow. What a future he could have had! I often wonder how the story would have been different if Samson had not allowed himself to be enticed by heathen woman? (And yet even in these disastrous seductions, God worked and overruled.)
As you will see, I had a hard time keeping my notes brief on this one... but I think this story has three signifcant key lessons, especially for anyone that's considering marriage, so I couldn't focus on just one of the three. I have to include all three! So here's my three "Faulty Mate Selection" mistakes I see in this story. Let's learn from these mistakes....
MISTAKE 1: HE LOOKED OUTSIDE THE CHRISTIAN FAITH: Samson left the camp of his brethren and went looking at the women in the camp of the Philistines. In the very camp of the enemy, those he was suppose to conquer! Wow!! Satan knew what he was doing. What a way to ensnare the man who is suppose to overthrow the Philistines.
Lesson 1 to avoid heartache: Don't even consider getting romantically involved with ANYONE outside the church or faith. In fact, I would take this a step further--as being in the church doesn't guarantee anything these days. I know this will create some controversy, but I would even go so far as to say, don't consider getting romantically involved with ANYONE that does not show the true authentic fruits of genuine conversion and surrender to Christ. Seriously, as a committed Christian, how can you stand for Christ if you are unequally yoked...when you unite with someone that will pull you down rather than pointing you to Christ, when you unite with someone that will pull you to the world rather than towards heaven, to self rather than to selflessness and greater surrender. The choice of a marriage partner is the most important decision you can ever make (next to your choice to serve Christ). We can't make this choice lightly, or based on whim.
MISTAKE 2: HE SOUGHT TO PLEASE HIMSELF RATHER THAN GOD: "I found a woman, and she pleases me," he told his parents. He wasn't considering anything but his own lusts and his own desires. Samson's path is the path many Christian's follow even today.
MISTAKE 2: HE SOUGHT TO PLEASE HIMSELF RATHER THAN GOD: "I found a woman, and she pleases me," he told his parents. He wasn't considering anything but his own lusts and his own desires. Samson's path is the path many Christian's follow even today.
Lesson 2 to avoid faulty mate selection: Recognize that you can't safely choose for yourself. God must choose for you. Ask wisdom of trusted friends, and of godly parents. In fact, I would recommend that you seriously put the brakes on with any relationship that your trusted counselors don't approve or have genuine concerns with. They often see things our love-sick eyes cannot see. In Adventist Home, p. 43, Ellen White writes: "A sincere Christian will not advance his plans in this direction without the knowledge that God approves his course. He will not want to choose for himself, but will feel that God must choose for him. We are not to please ourselves, for Christ pleased not Himself. I would not be understood to mean that anyone is to marry one whom he does not love. This would be sin. But fancy and the emotional nature must not be allowed to lead on to ruin. God requires the whole heart, the supreme affections."
MISTAKE 3: HE MOVED TOO QUICKLY: If ever there was a time to make haste slowly, it is when choosing a marriage partner. But Samson saw the woman and immediately he told his parents (he didn't heed their counsel), "Get her for me!"
Lesson 3 to avoid regret: Take time to evaluate the character of the person you wish to marry. Don't move too quickly! Beauty is deceitful and is only skin deep. Look beyond the face, the body, the degrees or status, the charms, the romance.... look for the true character. Again, EGW instructs: "Weigh every sentiment, and watch every development of character in the one with whom you think to link your life destiny. The step you are about to take is one of the most important in your life, and should not be taken hastily. While you may love, do not love blindly. Examine carefully to see if your married life would be happy or inharmonious and wretched. Let the questions be raised, Will this union help me heavenward? Will it increase my love for God? And will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life? If these reflections present no drawback, then in the fear of God move forward." (Adventist Home, p. 45)
So Samson marries the Philistine woman, despite his parents objections. And before the wedding feast is over, he's already having marital problems!
Can you imagine your bride/groom trying to entice you, during your honeymoon, to betray you so that your enemies get the prize instead of you? And look at how she entices...The same way many woman still do today... she weeps and whines, and she says, "Since you won't do what I ask, you don't love me?" (These techniques are called "emotional manipulation" to get your way, and how destructive to respect in relationships) Big warning signs: If anyone uses manipulation or claims, "You don't love me since you won't do such and such" (especially if such and such does not glorify God), run with all your might in the opposite direction. Danger is ahead!
So Samson marries the Philistine woman, despite his parents objections. And before the wedding feast is over, he's already having marital problems!
Can you imagine your bride/groom trying to entice you, during your honeymoon, to betray you so that your enemies get the prize instead of you? And look at how she entices...The same way many woman still do today... she weeps and whines, and she says, "Since you won't do what I ask, you don't love me?" (These techniques are called "emotional manipulation" to get your way, and how destructive to respect in relationships) Big warning signs: If anyone uses manipulation or claims, "You don't love me since you won't do such and such" (especially if such and such does not glorify God), run with all your might in the opposite direction. Danger is ahead!
As the story goes, Samson grew weary with the constant weeping and nagging (what man wouldn't), and so he finally tells her the secret to the riddle... and she turns and stabs him in the back. So... ere the wedding week is barely over, he kills 30 men to get the reward. He then angrily storms home, and his wife was then given to another man. In the NKJV it says, she was given "to his companion, who had been his best man." (So much for "Happily ever After" with the woman that "pleased" him!)
You would think Samson would have learned his lesson... but no... unfortunately he hasn't. However, I have to ask, have we learned our lesson either?
[End Note: By the way... if you yourself are not a consecrated committed Christian, then it is very likely that you will make these "Faulty Mate Selection" mistakes. In fact, you are the ONE that I would advise others to run from! ;-) I know this might sound harsh, but until you find your contentment, peace, and satisfaction in Christ alone, you can never be completely happy united with another. That's why I'd encourage you to get your life right with Christ before you look for Romance. Christ must be our first love, our first romance! No one, however perfect and godly they may be, can take the place of Christ in our heart. Seek Him first, find purpose and fulfillment in Him. Start there, then everything else in your life will come!]
[End Note: By the way... if you yourself are not a consecrated committed Christian, then it is very likely that you will make these "Faulty Mate Selection" mistakes. In fact, you are the ONE that I would advise others to run from! ;-) I know this might sound harsh, but until you find your contentment, peace, and satisfaction in Christ alone, you can never be completely happy united with another. That's why I'd encourage you to get your life right with Christ before you look for Romance. Christ must be our first love, our first romance! No one, however perfect and godly they may be, can take the place of Christ in our heart. Seek Him first, find purpose and fulfillment in Him. Start there, then everything else in your life will come!]
Dear Jesus, Please forgive us when we look outside of YOU for happiness and satisfaction. Forgive us when we too seek to please ourselves rather than living our life for Your glory to please You, the One who gave Your life on our behalf. Forgive us when we rush ahead pursuing our own plans, following our own wisdom, instead of waiting upon You for Your leading and guidance. Forgive us for not asking for divine wisdom, and following our heart, which is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. It is so easy for us to make the same mistakes that Samson made, even in our daily life today. Forgive us Lord!
Tomorrow's Reading: Judges 15-16 and Mark 5
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